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Right now, we are living in a world more divided than anyone alive can remember.
Less than a year ago, we began to wrestle with the result of a major hurricane, not the direct hit we expected, yet still close enough for us to strongly feel the reverberations. Even now, our kindred Asheville and surrounding areas still reckon with rebuilding and making new ways to help life work.
Nationally, we have different leadership. No matter how each of us voted, or what we expected, we live for now in a state of some uncertainty about economics, services for anyone in need and the natural state of our environment. Whether it’s the weather, how we predict it, what notices we receive, what to do about emergencies, or our public lands and whether any of it locally will be privatized, our normal is rattled. We have opinions about all these things. Still we have to cope with doing our day by day lives as best we can.
Right now we need each other more than ever. We don’t really have those stereotypical mountain feuds. We are people accustomed to keeping some opinions to ourselves but finding a broad swath of common ground, to be neighborly, to help each other in need, and to celebrate our town, our county, our state and our USA on occasions big enough for festivals and celebrations. This is the mountain community I’ve known and loved for more than 50 years so far.
In times of stress, we need more kindness. Always we have private stress, interactions not everyone needs to know about. Kindness helps in those times. A few people know, or a whole church, neighborhood or work group know. We share kind words, help with chores or food, even raise money. We feel loved, feel safe, feel hope. Even if nothing gets solved, we feel the solace of human kindness.
In times of public stress, we need that kindness, too. Even those friends we’ve never met, also called strangers, need kind words. Isn’t it good when someone smiles at you in the grocery store, says excuse me when in line at the post office, waits their turn at the new roundabout in the middle of town, holds the door for you or helps you in any way.
Words and gestures of kindness make connections. Humans need ways to be connected with each other. Of course, we need alone time, that calming solitude. Even subtle words and gestures of kindness can make the day a better day. Ultimately, small acts of kindness build bridges of trust, hope and security.
Today, make an intention to be kind. Be the first to say something kind or simply smile. Be the first to help, or simply move out of the way. Listen when someone speaks. And when those differences come up, when opinions clash, do your best to say something kind. We will still be living together for a long, long time.
Mary Ricketson makes her home in Cherokee County. She is a licensed clinical mental health counselor in private practice in Murphy. She has a special interest in women’s issues.