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September 24, 1789 – The Supreme Court’s Birthday Bash (Or: How to Party Like It’s 1789.)
Picture this: It’s 1789, and America’s Founding Fathers are hangry. Between writing constitutions and arguing about taxes, these powdered-wig-wearing politicians worked up serious appetites. Lucky for us, they left behind more than just democracy– they left us some seriously tasty recipes.
To celebrate the Supreme Court’s 235th birthday, we’re serving up three dishes that would make Benedict Arnold switch sides for seconds.
Chief Justice Jay’s ‘Objection Overruled’ Chicken Pot Pie
John Jay didn’t just rule the courtroom – he ruled the kitchen. This ain’t your grandma’s chicken pot pie (unless your grandma wore a tricorn hat and debated constitutional law over dinner).
The Verdict-worthy recipe
- 2 pounds free-range chicken (because even colonial chickens deserved freedom).
- 1 cup pearl onions (for that fancy 18th-century vibe).
- 3 cloves garlic, minced.
- 1 cup heirloom carrots, diced.
- 1 cup wild mushrooms (foraged by George Washington himself, probably).
- 2 cups bone broth.
- ¼ cup colonial whiskey (one for the cook, naturally, and one for the recipe).
- Fresh thyme, rosemary and sage.
- Butter pastry crust (because margarine hadn’t been invented yet, thank goodness).
Instructions
Saute everything except your political opinions until golden. Wrap in pastry like you’re tucking the Constitution into bed. Bake at 400°F until golden brown.
Jefferson’s ‘Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Kale-iness’ Salad
Tom Jefferson didn’t just write the Declaration of Independence – he declared war on boring vegetables. This salad is more revolutionary than the Boston Tea Party.
The Republican recipe
- 4 cups mixed heritage greens (because free market variety matters, even in salad).
- 1 cup roasted beets (red like conservative values, but tastier).
- ½ cup candied walnuts (sweet enough to unite all Americans under constitutional principles).
- Goat cheese crumbles (from Jefferson’s free-enterprise goats at Monticello).
- Pomegranate seeds (for that “limited government” pop of flavor).
- Vinaigrette made with apple cider vinegar and Dijon mustard (because the French helped us establish independence).
Instructions
Toss together like successful conservative coalitions. Serve with a side of constitutional originalist debate about limited government.
Martha Washington’s ‘No Taxation Without Sweet Potato-tion’ Souffle
Martha didn’t just host tea parties – she threw dinner parties that made Versailles jealous. This dessert is so good, it should be in the Bill of Rights.
The Presidential recipe
- 3 massive, sweet potatoes (roasted until they surrender).
- 6 eggs, separated (like church and state).
- 1 cup heavy cream (because low-fat wasn’t invented until way after the Revolutionary War).
- ½ cup maple syrup (tapped by Paul Revere on his midnight ride, allegedly).
- Bourbon vanilla extract (the good stuff).
- Pinch of salt (not the British kind).
- Cinnamon, nutmeg and a whisper of rebellion
Instructions
Whip those egg whites like you’re beating the British at Yorktown. Fold everything together gently – this souffle is more delicate than colonial-British relations. Bake until it rises like the American spirit.
Historical fun fact
The Supreme Court’s first session was February 1, 1790 (not 1791, as some poorly researched articles claim – (we fact-check harder than Hamilton checked his duel pistols).
These recipes prove that even while creating democracy, our Founding Fathers knew that decent food brings people together better than any constitutional convention.
So, fire up those ovens, channel your inner patriot, and remember: if you’re
not cooking like it’s 1789, you’re not cooking hard enough.
Share your colonial culinary adventures and tag us – because democracy is delicious, and everyone deserves a seat at freedom’s table.
Now get cooking, you beautiful democratic food rebels.
Barry Cohen welcomes your thoughts, suggestions and feedback. For recipes or questions, email him at barrycohen210@gmail.com.