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Kids are more grown up today than ever before. They own cell phones, eat steak and lobster, and have social media accounts. So I think we need to stop babying the children of today and actually treat them more like the adults they appear to be.
My nephew has a cell phone and is a whiz at figuring out how to use it, how to jailbreak the phone’s software and how to repair it. I’ve had a cell for 58 years and still use it upside down sometimes by mistake when talking with friends.
Last week, my brother brought my nephew, Benji, over to my house so I could baby-sit him overnight. He came with his special blankie, some toys and his sippy cup. The 3-year-old also had his $1,200 iPhone with him. That night, the toddler became a man; I made sure of it.
If a 36-month-old human in my care was gonna sport adult devices better than my own, then he was in for an eye-opening step into early adulthood.
For starters, I showed him the room he usually stays in for overnight visits. I removed all of his night lights since he’s a small adult now. He’ll just have to deal with the bogeyman like the rest of us do.
He indicated he needed to go potty, so I pointed to the bathroom and told him to close the door. I also asked him to replace the toilet paper, as it was pretty low at the time. I forgot his step stool, which is probably why it took him so long. He did look pretty rough coming back out.
When it was time for dinner, I did make him his favorite mac and cheese with cut-up hot dogs in it – but he had to do the dishes.
Next, it was time for a few chores. He wanted to finger paint, but I suggested we clean the bathroom, especially since he made quite the mess of it earlier. After he got the hang of how to use the mop and bucket, he did OK.
When it was time to chill for the evening, I swapped out his three Disney movies. Instead, we watched The Expendables series featuring Sylvester Stallone as we sat on the couch with our buttered popcorn. He was so cute just looking up at me with his soft, big blue eyes. He even got up several times during the movie to get refills on our beverages.
After removing the floaty toys from the tub, I gave him a bar of Irish Spring deodorant soap and turned the shower on for him. His shower lasted almost three hours because he couldn’t reach the knobs to turn the water off. I guess I got busy with other things and forgot to go back in and help him.
During the night, he only cried once because it was too dark, so I took his iPhone and showed him how to find soothing spa music to fall asleep to.
In the morning, he wanted Cheerios, but I let him know that bran flakes was a better option for someone with expensive electronics. I also gave him his sippy cup filled with Folgers dark roast. The 36-inch-tall human just looked up at me and said softly, he wasn’t really hungry anymore.
When I asked what he wanted to do while waiting for his dad to pick him back up, he said he’d just play some solitaire on his phone.
Kids grow up so quick.
Anngee Quinones-Belian of Murphy is a staff correspondent for the Cherokee Scout. Her humor column runs every other week. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.