Modern technology is supposed to offer speed and convenience; however, sometimes it is more frustrating than helpful.
I was on my cellphone the other day when the call was dropped like four times in 10 minutes. I pay $80 a month for service, and I don’t care if I live 20,000 leagues under the sea, I expect the phone to work for me. If they can send a man to the moon and communicate with him, why can’t I get a signal up on a hill?
I was using my Alexshia device recently to gain some information. I spoke a command to the virtual assistant asking it – or her, I can’t tell anymore – what the weather was. The assistant responded back with, “You want to know which birds have feathers, is that right?” For cryin’ out loud, I thought all birds had feathers. I just wanted to know what the weather was.
On another occasion, I asked my phone’s AI assistant to text and remind my baby-sitter to feed my kid. When I looked at the text later it had gone through as give him weed and squid. He’s 5.
That brings me to another irritant. If I’m on the National Do Not Call list, then why am I still getting spam calls?
A few days ago, I sent a mass text to all the spam-blocked numbers listed in my phone. The message read: “NEW CONTACTS with $5,000 bonus just for reaching out!” The contact numbers were to the Federal Communications & Trade Commissions. That should keep them all busy for a while.
I rolled up to the gas station the other day and put the pump handle into the tank. I set it to fill automatically without my having to hold it. I thought I’d give my carpal tunnel syndrome a break. The darn thing kept snapping off, even though the tank was empty.
My neighbor recently put his cellphone on the bumper of his car to load groceries. He forgot it was there and got in the vehicle. As the car slowly rolled
out of the parking lot, his phone fell to the pavement. That set off a chain reaction, and his vehicle’s OnStar alerted emergency services that he had been in an accident. Although the feature’s nice, modern technology should be able to tell the difference between dropping a foot at two miles per hour versus an impact with another vehicle or deer at 50 mph.
A self-driving vacuum cleaner that leaves it’s base after charging should be able to tell the difference between dirt on the floor and a pile of canine poo. That’s a special treat to clean up after a hard day of work.
I miss landline phones and letter writing. The phones always worked and the letters were personal. Now we use robots and devices that have taken all personal connections out of the equation.
If phone companies, banks and government computers get hacked with all the technology
they implement, there’s no hope for my five-letter, two-number and an asterisk password. There’s just so much to worry about these days.
Of course, now fingerprints can be used for I.D. adding additional safety they say. However, all someone has to do is use cellophane tape to lift your thumbprint from a glass, then press it on your phone screen to gain access. They can also just cut your thumb off while you’re sleeping.
I know someone who had a battery operated self driving vehicle. While he was napping in the back seat, the vehicle went rogue. It began driving erratically and ran over a fence, two bikes and a shop owner’s flower display.
The eight cops that were following him didn’t have to engage in a high-speed chase because the vehicle’s battery ran out of power. They just waited for it to come to a stop.
I’m not saying all technology is bad, just that it doesn’t always work as intended leaving folks technically irritated.
Anngee Quinones-Belian of Murphy is a staff correspondent for the Cherokee Scout. Her humor column runs every other week. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.