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The other day, I ran into my pastor at Ingles. He asked if I would be willing to teach a little children’s Bible class. I informed him that although I go to church and love God, I’m not a public speaker nor a teacher.
However, he insisted, as the Sunday school teacher was sick and they could really use the help. I reminded him that I was still a sinner and not yet perfected in the Lord. He just nodded his head and, with some fear and hope in his voice, said, “It should be OK.”
The next morning, and with no real prep time, I walked into the Sunday school classroom. The lesson, from my perspective, went something like this.
First, I introduced myself by saying, “Hi, my name is Anngee, and I’m a sinner.”
From there, I figured it best to start from the beginning by letting the kids know that God made the world, water, light, animals and trees. Then he made two people, Adam and Eve. Everything was perfect. God was happy with his work – as He should be, He’s amazing.
“Then sin came into the world,” I said. People blamed a snake, but it was really Adam’s fault because he didn’t stop Eve from eating the forbidden fruit, he just joined in. As the man of the garden, he should have been stronger and told Eve “no” because it was against God’s will.
Adam may have had ulterior motives, because he liked Eve and she was cute. Either way, he sinned with her instead of helping her do the right thing. Somehow, I don’t think that 30-second apple snack was worth it.
People have been fighting and sinning in a bunch of different ways ever since then. But God tells us to pray and ask for his forgiveness, and we’ll be all right with him again.
As much as God loves people, he can also punish them for their wrongdoings. He once allowed a whale to eat someone and turned a lady into a salty statue. The guy in the whale’s belly was back out after a day or so and was OK, kinda like an adult time out. The children listened intently.
God also helps us in life. He once let a little kid beat up a giant bully with a rock and kept some people alive when they were ready to be eaten by lions. I did tell the children not to throw rocks at people unless God tells them to.
God doesn’t want us to fear him, He loves His people very much. Since we couldn’t seem to get things right, God sent his only Son, Jesus, to die for us so people may be saved and go to heaven.
Jesus also loved us, so much so that he chose to die for us even though he could have just said, “No way!” and ran for the hills.
There are ways for us to remember how God wants us to behave, as written in the Bible. We go to heaven by believing and accepting Jesus, but we please God by obeying His top 10 rules called the commandments.
One of the commandments tells us to love our neighbor. That can be hard sometimes because people are so irritating, especially at the grocery store and in traffic. We may not like our neighbor, but we do need to love them.
God also says not to steal, so if you have taken your little brother’s Hot Wheels or your friend’s yo-yo without asking, you’re a thief and have broken a commandment. By praying, asking for forgiveness and trying not to do things that make God sad, you will please Him.
In order to know what God wants of us, we must read the Bible. Everything you need to know about life is in that book. Believing, being kind, generous and telling others about Jesus are ways to please God.
Don’t forget to read the part about the talking donkey, it’s pretty cool. God creates all kinds of miracles, too, like turning a few fish and some rolls into a buffet for hungry people. The next time your mom is worried about unexpected company for dinner, just tell her to pray about it.
At the end of class, I passed around a collection plate that came back with three pennies, a Hot Wheels car and a yo-yo.
At that time, the pastor rushed into the class, asking how it went. I responded with, “I just hope you don’t get fired and I’m not going to hell.”
He dropped to his knees and started praying.
Anngee Quinones-Belian of Murphy is a staff correspondent for the Cherokee Scout. Her humor column runs every other week. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.