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Things have been a bit tight lately regarding my budget. Finances have been scaled back somewhat forcing me to decide what I need and what I can do without.
The other day I was at Walmart when I looked into my shopping cart filled with bacon, toothpaste, cheese puffs, grapes and more cheese puffs. I was keenly aware of what’s important to me. Among my cart items were three large bags of deer corn, six bags of assorted nuts, fruits and seeds for the birds, and two containers of hummingbird juice. Oh, and peanuts for the squirrels.
It was then that I had to decide to put a few items back and leave the store with less than I’d hoped for. So I very slowly and with great sadness restocked the shelves with my beloved bacon and cheese puffs as well as the toilet paper, oil for my car and pain relief medicine. I just couldn’t put back any of the food I had for the pets that aren’t even mine.
How could I look into a deer’s eyes and say, “Sorry pal, no food today.” What about seeing a bird fly to an empty feeder and turn to look at me as if to say, “Are we still good?” Would Humphrey the hummingbird understand why he’s flapping his tiny wings in vain?
I believe sometimes we treat animals better than we do ourselves or even our human counterparts. My husband will just have to do without his manly deodorant for a while as that went back on the shelf as well.
I’ve seen people hold birthday parties for dogs, complete with wrapped gifts. Others have adorned cats with rhinestone studded collars and have paid for spa visits. I saw a dog yesterday with painted toenails and was actually embarrassed to be sporting around my cute sandals with the chipped polish on my own feet.
Animals even get their own carriages. The other day, from a distance I noticed what I thought was a very ugly baby being strolled through Konehete Park. I got closer before realizing it was a small, scraggly haired canine with its tongue hanging out. I was glad I kept my mouth shut and didn’t offer my condolences right away when I thought it was a human.
I think McDonald’s should offer yappy meals. This way folks can give their pups food without handing over their own cheeseburger and fries, which I’ve seen folks do.
I would love it if my husband gave me a treat every time I did something right or brushed my teeth for me when I was too tired to do it myself.
My son picks his dog up and dances around the room with him. The dog weighs 80 pounds, for cryin’ out loud.
It’s just so darn easy to love animals. I’m so close to my pooch that when he shows too much attention to a visitor, I feel cheated on.
My Uncle Vinny is the only animal I don’t care much for. He’s been looking for some rugged attire so he can ride his new motorcycle around with his biker buddies. I bought him a tough-looking neck collar with black and chrome on it. It matches his new black leather jacket. Soon enough, he’ll find out it’s really a bark collar when he starts talking.
It’s true we spend more time and money on animals than we do on ourselves. I’m just grateful dog treats come in bacon and cheese flavors. This way, my furry friend and I can share them while watching TV. I really hated putting mine back at Walmart.
Anngee Quinones-Belian of Murphy is a staff correspondent for the Cherokee Scout. Her humor column runs every other week. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.