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So I went to a big box store in another town the other day and just couldn’t believe my eyes.
When I wake up in the mornings, typically my hair’s a wreck. I don’t know what horror scenes I’m running from at night while dreaming, but I look a mess when I arise. I wouldn’t think of stepping in to a public establishment right outta bed – PJs and all.
Apparently, it’s OK to wear anything – including very little – at one big box store in particular (the name eludes me right now) and all bets are off, as it’s a total free-for-all when it comes to appearances while browsing the isles.
The funny thing is I don’t see the same types of clothing choices at any other stores.
I asked a friend who I just happen to spot coming out of said store why she would go out to shop in her pajamas. She said it was because the store was close to her house. Well, by that reasoning I should just go to work lookin’ like a hot mess as I live close to my job.
While I’m at it, after work and still in my PJs with messy hair and house slippers on, I’ll just head over to the post office, bank and dentist since they’re also close to my home – good Lord.
I hear there’s even a website with pics on it of shoppers in the store wearing all kinds of crazy clothing.
I saw someone in this store recently wearing all kinds of I don’t know what, then like an hour later I saw the same person at a different store wearing blue jeans and a regular T-shirt, so there is something to this phenomenon.
I’ve seen folks don everything from a gas mask to Long Johns with a trap door in the rear and flip-flops.
I saw one lady come in wearing all black carrying a broom. I’m not sure if she was simply returning the item or actually rode in on it, but it was a bit scary, so I just headed over to another aisle only to spot someone with four dogs in her cart and one was wearing a cone party hat while tearing up a bag of bird seed. The owner was clueless as the sunflower seeds cascaded on to the floor instantly stopping my cart’s hair-clogged wheels.
Not long ago, I opened up a box of shoes in the footage department only to see a used pair without laces.
The folks that work there seem to be very nice and were helpful, but some of the customers have me feeling as though I’ve entered The Twilight Zone when I walk in.
Perhaps one day I’ll walk in the store’s front door, and their store greeter will be Rod Serling.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.