 |
Hunters and fishermen often tell tales in which they themselves have starring roles – have been guilty myself on rare occasions.
But some of their funniest stories also have familiar characters, speaker himself often involved and freely admitting it. Some years
ago I was bear hunting (before I got so old and fat) in Graham County, and we built up a big campfire.
This is what I came for, I said, the stories. Don’t even like to eat bear meat. You don’t know how to cook it, they said, but forgave me and started telling tales.
Here are a few I remember from over the years.
Skunks
Many years ago in the mountains near Boone, a friend and I were just learning how to hunt deer, with very little success.
Deer pee in a bottle is widely sold today to mask human scent, but it was brand new back then. My friend poured the stuff generously on his boot soles when he went into the woods.
Told me later he’d found a rock ledge and was sitting on it before daylight, legs dangling. Felt something touching his feet again and again, scared him. Flashlight showed an innocent skunk licking his boots. He vacated the area.
Old man gone now told me he worked in a CCC camp near Franklin, young men from all over nation, one of President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Great Depression projects. One day a work crew came on a big skunk in the woods, told a Yankee boy from Brooklyn that mountain folk valued the animal as a pet and rat catcher. He tried to pet it, with disastrous results.
Bobcats
Locally, two fishermen on our mountain lakes who for reasons unknown netted a swimming bobcat and tried to drown it.
Angry bobcat resisted, came out of the net and took possession of their boat. Just as they were preparing to abandon ship, the cat beat them to it and jumped back into the water.
Heard this one when I worked with newspapers in eastern North Carolina in mid-1960s. Pranksters had been victimizing motorists there by putting harmless black snakes in ladies purses and leaving them on the roadside. Then collapsing in glee as they watched people stop, snatch up the loaded purse and react to the snake.
Some good ol’ boys cranked it up a notch when they trapped a live bobcat and put it in a suitcase beside the road. Said the car made a panic stop, and everyone in it fled out the doors and windows.
Deer
Lots of good tales about deer huntering mishaps, but this was the best I ever heard. Brother-in-law told me.
Said a fellow factory employee got interested in black powder hunting, using rifles that are replicas of the old-timey guns. Bought himself a muzzleloader and all the accessories. Had a powder horn, big knife, leather strap to carry the gun, a regular Daniel Boone.
Went into the woods alone and found a good place. Soon a big buck with big antlers came by, and he took careful aim and shot it down.
Carrying a camera and wanting a good photo, he went over to the animal on the ground and propped its head up. Laid his gun cradled in its antlers and backed up to make his trophy picture.
Just as the “dead” deer jumped to its feet and fled the scene, his rifle snagged in its antlers by the authentic leather sling!
Finally found his gun, but never saw the deer again.
Wally Avett first wrote for the Cherokee Scout as editor in 1969. His books are available as signed copies at the Scout office in Murphy. Call him at 837-5531 or email wallyavett@gmail.com.