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So I was driving the other day along U.S. 64 when I ended up behind a dump truck. I noticed that he did not have a net covering his burly load but a bumper sticker that read: Not responsible for falling debris.
What? I’d certainly like to know who is then. So by his dopey logic, I could be in front of him and have my vehicle’s door fall right off the car, which would cause him to run off the road.
Would I then be responsible in this situation? I bet he would think so. I can’t help but wonder if the N.C. Department of Transportation knows he’s driving around with that bumper sticker on his vehicle.
I heard the state is considering installing a roundabout for traffic in downtown Murphy. This is a terrible idea. For starters, how are people who suffer from vertigo supposed to navigate a roundabout?
This will be an insurance nightmare for drivers, as I personally can’t find my way out of my own neighborhood’s cul-de-sac without going in circles. I can’t be the only one who feels this way.
What about folks with narcolepsy? If they fall asleep at the wheel, they will just go round and round and round – does this make any sense?
How will Alexa tell me to get off should I miss my quarter-circle exit? Would she tell me to make the next U-turn, which would be executed where, exactly?
If you ask me, entering a roundabout is like participating in the jump rope game “Double Dutch.” You better be able to enter perfectly, or you’ll just crash-n-burn, no thanks to that.
All of these things need to be carefully considered before construction begins.
Who decided to replace “fat” Bob’s Barricades with tall skinny ones, for cryin’ out loud? These things look more like skinny construction workers wearing a traffic vest than they do something I need to try and avoid hitting. Just the other day I ran over some barricades in traffic and thought I hit several county workers just standing around talking.
I was behind someone the other day that had his blinker on for 10 miles. How was he so oblivious to the irritating ticking sound?
This kind of person could have a bomb ticking in a box right next to them and not even notice, for Pete’s sake. No situational awareness whatsoever. I’m just grateful that I didn’t suffer a seizure looking at his constant left-handed flashing.
I drive with a driver’s manual next to me on the seat in case I forget a road rule, but how is it there are so many styles of driving? Are there several different manuals I don’t know about? Am I the only one whose hands are at the 10 and 2 o’clock positions?
Just the other day, I came upon a vehicle doing 5 mph, far below the posted minimum speed. It took me 20 minutes to reach my turn off, which was only a block away. Some sign language did occur between myself and the other driver, but after consulting the manual, I remembered that tractors do drive slower.
I have noticed that numerous folks don’t have license plates on their vehicles. I pay a lot of money every year for tags, which would be better spent on extra bags of Cheetos than some dopey series of numbers and letters that identify my car. I even saw a county vehicle without a plate.
I’m going to have to re-evaluate how I spend my money in the future. Several hundred dollars a year would go a long way toward my snack budget.
Driving is so stressful anymore, but I did find a tad bit of enjoyment the other day while driving through town. I came up on a student driver, which is always fun for me. Sometimes I just steady stare at the young person behind the wheel for a mile or two, while other times I put on a quick costume mask that looks as though I am sound asleep at the wheel. Their reactions are priceless.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Ranger. Her humor column is published every other week. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com or leave a message at 837-5122.