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I went into my storage room the other day to grab a couple bags of Cheetos, and I noticed the stack of disposable masks I had a surplus of. Now that there’s no mask mandates I thought about how to use them since I don’t want to just throw them out.
My friend’s kid has a Barbie doll that apparently goes camping a lot in her fancy Barbie motor home. Since you can’t really go camping without a hammock even in a kid’s bedroom, I made one out of a mask and trimmed the edges with ornamental dangling beads. Now Barbie can lounge in comfort and style – not that she needs anymore luxury in her life.
I handcrafted some bikini tops for toddlers out of several masks for anyone forgetting the top to their baby’s swimsuit. It’s never too early to practice modesty.
A friend of mine slipped a mask under each foot and attached them with the strings on his heels and one of the toes on each foot. He forgot his shoes at home but the store had to let him in because technically it was a foot covering. I once stepped into a pair of glue traps for rats when I forgot my shoes at home. They worked but it took a week to get all the glue off my feet so the masks would be easier to use.
I cut the strings off one mask and offered it to a neighbor as a puppy pad. She was training her new Teacup Poodle. She loved it and the dog learned to pee on the mask. My friend still wears a mask in public however, so I’m not really sure how that will work when she’s holding little “Mr. Earl Grey” and he decides he has “to go.”
When I ran out of napkins for an outside dinner party, I cut off the strings and used the masks as table napkins. No one appeared to mind and the flower I hot-glued onto each one added a lovely touch. One guest got sick at the table so the mask’s pouch came in handy as a mini barf bag and prevented a mess over the sun-baked chicken and potato salad.
I make my husband put one on his forearm and attach the string to his elbow and middle finger to shade his arm from the sun when he’s driving. I got tired of using his belt sander to buff off the gnarly sunspots he would get from too many rays.
After numerous scratches and two bites I managed to get my cat to tolerate a mask as a feedbag. I just wrapped the strings around her ears and fill the pouch with tuna – and a little Benadryl to calm her down.
The masks make wonderful sleep beds in a cage for hamsters, as well as sanitary products for women in a jam.
I used one as a catapult for a squirrel, but he only flew across the yard a distance of 3.5 inches due to the weakness of the ear strings. After he landed on his head, he got up, turned around and glared at me – I feared for my life, as they can get pretty aggressive, especially after humans snatch them off the bird feeders in the first place.
A mask can also be used as a shoe buffer, a pad for a small floor Swiffer and toilet seat covers for anyone wanting a far more sanitary experience.
With a face mask I made an infant cap for a neighbor’s baby, it was so cute especially since I attached a huge flower on top.
Of course, the alternative activity for leftover masks that you don’t use is too organize a mask-burning party. I think they did something like that in the 1960s with bras.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.