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I’ve seen people work hard most of their lives, only to spend their hard-earned retirement money on things that never take away the fact that they are aging.
Good lord – my uncle Vinny was happy one day and in the depths of despair the next, questioning his whole life’s worth.
It’s not like all of your years sneak up on you in the middle of the night and punch you in the face as you wake up in the morning. He’s had his whole life to get used to the fact he’s getting older as time goes on; we all are.
I’ve gotten used to running to the bathroom now instead of merely strolling – aging happens to everyone, but we don’t need to wreck our lives as a result of it.
What I don’t understand is thinking material things will add years to your life and the liver you’ve abused during all that time.
Last year, he was happy with his life and his pickup truck. Six months ago, he pulled up in the driveway with a red Alpha Romeo sports car and what I thought was a “girl scout” who I assumed he was buying snacks from – all I saw was a green outfit on a petite female.
He declared it was his “new” girlfriend – and she was of age.
His black, which he dyed, and knarly bush of chest hair was quite visible from the eight shirt buttons that were open down to his first “big roll.” At first I thought he was holding a poodle puppy to his chest.
After slightly barfing in my own mouth a little, I asked what he was doing.
My aunt basically told him to get his old crap and leave with his new life.
In two months he was broke, had the vehicle repossessed and needed a refill on his meds. And the young lady has since blocked him on social media.
It takes too much money, time and effort to be someone you’re not. I’ve found that when I’m depressed about aging, a large bag of Cheetos and a murder show make me feel alive again. I’ve learned to like myself and accept that nothing lasts forever, and that’s OK.
As a result of uncle Vinny’s crisis, my aunt ended up with half their money, which was enough to take a “no spring chicken” cruise to the Bahamas for a month. She came back home with something new herself – keys to all her new door locks. Poor uncle Vinny.
My own husband was too afraid to start his own midlife crisis knowing that I have extensive knowledge on how to bury a body without it being discovered – so we’re good.
We’re going to spend our retirement money on: not having to ever work again, comfortable shoes and any needed medical supplies.
It’s nice not having to overly impress anyone by being someone we’re not as we age gracefully. We have gone from dancing the quickstep to slow dancing together, and we’re content.
Besides, if hubby ever tries anything I’ll bring back my BREAK-dancing so fast his head will spin – and he knows it.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.