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They say that you and your pet will actually start to look like one another in time. I never believed that until recently when I saw my Uncle Vinny at a family reunion. Good Lord, I’m a believer now.
Since it was a pet-friendly reunion, I took a hard look around. Back to Uncle Vinny; not only does he resemble his 12-year-old English bulldog, but the darn thing has a lazy eye just like my uncle does. How does that even happen?
My neighbor Jenny stopped by with her 200-pound sheep dog. They both have somewhat gray hair, but I’ve been after her for months to cut that mop she calls her style. The two of them together resemble unkept shrubbery, but she won’t listen to me.
Then there’s Marcino, another relative we invited to the reunion despite his ways. He showed up with his pet ferret. Not exactly your Olan Mills studio portrait. The two of them together are just plain horrifying.
I don’t understand the morphing process that happens between pet and owner but I know it happens because my coworker just had collagen put into her lips, and when she stands next to her overfed big-eyed goldfish, the resemblance is uncanny.
A friend of mine thought a turtle would be a nice pet, even though you’re basically watching time go by with no real results of anything. Either way, they both have a hard exterior shell and snap a lot. They’re both kind of jerks, so it’s fitting that they have each other.
I knew someone once who had a pet aardvark, for cryin’ out loud. They looked alike, and I told this person so, but he tried to justify it saying that it was only because of his long Italian nose. That was just his excuse because he had beady eyes, too.
I am terrified to get a pet. I am afraid of the possible visual outcome later on. I must decide carefully. Initially, I wanted a spider monkey, but forget that – I’m skinny enough as it is.
I’m thinking about a miniature koala bear, as they’re just so cute. However, I think the wildlife officer may have an issue with that.
Maybe I should just be happy with the pets God has already provided me with – like the squirrels, deer and bunnies that are in my yard daily and at the top of my grocery list for food buying.
Perhaps I’ll just adopt a “pet wallet.” I wouldn’t mind looking rich for a change.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves to laugh at everyone, herself included. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.