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With the weather warming up and spring here, I was like a bear coming outta hibernation last week. I felt revived and had a new sense of energy.
I threw off my body warmers, tossed my wool knit cap to the side and turned off the fireplace. I had big plans for spring, including cleaning, gardening and reorganizing. I do these things each year but this year I planned on doing it in the most efficient of ways.
Anything I can do to shave off some time doing chores is a win for me, as it allows me more time to sit back and read my romance novels. I decided to utilize tools from my husband’s shed for my house-cleaning chores. I grabbed the leaf blower and went inside the house.
With all the doors wide open, I simply blew my home to a dust-free state. It took 10 minutes to completely dust a two-story house. It was also good firearms training, as I quickly aimed the blower at the smaller items from a distance, hoping to find my target free of dust upon further inspection.
Next, I grabbed my husband’s pressure washer to clean the shower stall. I turned it on high, about 35,000 psi, thinking it would get the job done quicker, but it actually blew a hole in the tile.
The water pressure also destroyed a water supply line behind the wall and did a lot of damage to some structural wood before blowing another hole in the bedroom wall.
While my husband was at work, I quickly ran back to his shed and grabbed his shop vac. The pressure washer sprayed a lot of water into the bedroom and damaged some stuff he had on a shelf.
The washer nozzle blew a hole through his Joe Montana “Super Bowl XXIII” Jersey. He once said it was worn by Montana when he coordinated “The Drive” to win Super Bowl XXIII, whatever the heck that means. He has other football jerseys, so one won’t matter.
I threw it in the trash, went to Murphy and tossed it in the huge Dumpster. Maybe he won’t notice it’s missing, after all I can’t remember all the clothing I have.
I also tried using his pneumatic nail gun to hang up some pictures of spring flowers and birds, since I couldn’t find the hammer. I have no idea what happened, but all of a sudden that thing started shooting out nails like the bullets that sprayed the car of Bonnie and Clyde.
The nail holes that went through the living room wall to the outside in rapid succession, left the sun shining through 800 holes that were scattered everywhere. No amount of toothpaste is gonna plug up that many holes, at least not before he gets home from work.
As if my day could get any worse I saw my Uncle Vinny pulling up in my driveway. He always comes to visit at the worst possible times. I had a huge mess with lots of damage to deal with, and my husband was on his way back home from work. I was panicking.
My uncle was inside when my husband pulled up in our driveway. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I asked my uncle to hold the nozzle of the pressure washer as well as the nail gun for me as I had to get the front door.
When my husband walked in, he noticed how frazzled I was then looked at my Uncle Vinny, who was standing there holding the pressure washer nozzle and the nail gun.
Anngee Quinones-Belian of Murphy is a staff correspondent for the Cherokee Scout. Her column runs every other week. Email anngeeq@gmail.com.