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Some go by Dad, Dada, Papa or Pops. Others prefer the more formal Father and despise the less formal Old Man. But, to me, there is no greater word in the English language than Daddy.
A Dad is somebody you go to a game with; a Daddy is somebody you play a game with. Pops might read you a book, but Daddy will get on the floor and act it out with stuffed animals. A Father could have biological rights or get confused for a priest, but a child will never mix up anyone with their Daddy.
I’ve thought about this a lot in the four years since I became a grandfather, which is when everyone in two families had to pick a name for themselves. Since my grandfather was called Granddaddy – and one of the saddest moments of my life was when my children made the teenage transition from calling me Daddy to Dad or Pops – I was determined to be a Daddy again, so I quickly claimed Granddaddy without opposition. I even have a sweet T-shirt to prove it.
While I had a groovy stepfather for several years, I’ve spent most of my life without a father figure. I didn’t have anyone to give horsey rides, take me fishing nor show me how to be an adult. When you learn these things on your own, there are a lot of hits and misses, with plenty of high ups and low downs that could have been prevented if I always had a strong male voice in my corner.
I tried hard to be that voice for my kids. Now I want to be an even better one for their kids.
There are more threats to be concerned about nowadays than when we were growing up. Predators seemingly exist around every corner. More illegal drugs are on the streets. Adequate health care can be hard to access. And while jobs are plentiful, affordable housing is paltry.
That’s all the more reason for grandparents like myself to stand up and be the anchors that our families need and deserve. To always be there and show them unconditional love. To demonstrate care, compassion and kindness. To offer helpful guidance based on experience. To inspire their spiritual lives.
Our children and grandchildren are going to be a lot like us, whether we like it or not. We might as well make it the best possible version of ourselves; if not, we will undoubtedly pay a big price for it down the road if they no longer want anything to do with us.
Since 1972, Father’s Day – which is recognized on the third Sunday every June – has been a national holiday in the United States, although it was first celebrated on June 19, 1910. That makes this a perfect time to reflect on what you’re doing for your family.
Somebody called Dimitri the Stoneheart once said, “A father doesn’t tell you that he loves you. He shows you.” I would add that it’s perfectly OK to do both; children need to hear those words.
It’s not enough to just know; they also need to feel that you love them. Hug your kids so tight you can feel their heart beat. Kiss them on the cheek in front of a friend and make them feel awkward. Give them a compliment or a gift that they didn’t expect to receive.
You simply cannot love your children too much.
This Father’s Day, I don’t have a card to send to anyone. However, I have been blessed by knowing several good men who have shared their knowledge and helped me become a better man. And by doing so, they have helped make the entire world a better place.
Journalist Tim Russert once said, “The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.” I want to be that guy, a truly grand daddy, for my family. To those who think likewise, may this Sunday be an extra-special time for you and yours.
David Brown is publisher of the Cherokee Scout. You can reach him by phone, 837-5122; email, dbrown@cherokeescout.com; or on Twitter @daviddBstroh.
“Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, the not-yet dads, the stepdads, the moms who are dad, the adoptive dads, the grandads and the dads who are no longer with us.”
– unknown author