 |
I have always been proud of my family. Each member possesses a variety of talents, with the exception of maybe Uncle Vinny, and we all love and are committed to one another. However, I do not feel the need to display a “stick photo” on the rear window of my vehicle representing each one of them.
First of all, several of my family members are robust in stature, so it would not be honest of me to portray them as pencil-thin, like the cookie-cutter stick figure stickers do.
Criminals can also study these stickers to determine how many people live in the house and who the weak ones are. I don’t understand why so many folks display a figure for each member of their family, including babies, for cryin’ out loud.
If I were going to display family figures on my vehicle, I would display numerous military and law enforcement stick people as well as a variety of weapons. Perhaps then perps would think twice, maybe even three times before following me home with rope and a roll of duct tape. I’d make sure they also thought I had six to 10 very large dogs.
My cousin displayed a male stick figure behind bars on his car and another sticker next to it with the words: “Parole is Awesome.” I like this, as a stranger can’t be sure your loved one wasn’t in prison for murder and is out and sitting in a comfy chair by the front door smoking a cigarette, just waiting for something to do. It’s quite intimidating.
I’d also place a sticker of a clown on my vehicle along with the others stickers and not just a kid’s party clown, either, rather the likeness of one who hides in sewers and grabs people that walk by. No one will mess with you if they suspect you have an evil clown crawling around in your family tree. In fact, most people are afraid of clowns.
Police departments should employ special unmarked units to drive around with stickers of one small person and several babies on their vehicle’s window. A task force if you will, to “draw out” potential criminals who prey on folks in this manner. Not really entrapment – but yeah.
I have a sister who is not the brightest crayon in the box. She said the stickers can be helpful if needed as she had a teenage son run away from home not long ago. He came back a few days later.
In the meantime, she drove all over town showing people his stick figure and asking them if they’ve seen him. When he was broke and got hungry he returned home, so she believed the stupid sticker had worked in her search for him – good Lord!
Don’t think people don’t pay attention to those stickers. My friend put a couple of cop stick figures on his back window, and now no one will pass him in traffic. He also gets half off on his meals wherever he goes.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.