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My husband and I were arguing over how to decorate the house for the spring and summer months.
He said he wanted to put up his fishing photos and some animals he had stuffed after hunting season.
For starters, there are lots of dead animals along the road on our way to Walmart that we can stop and stare at, so we don't need them hanging on our walls. It's creepy and their eyes follow you when ya walk around.
Fish is a food item so if he's gonna put up photos of fish then why not just hang bags of Doritos and some meat sticks on the walls for cryin' out loud?I've never understood a man's sense of decorating style.
I wanted spring flowers to brighten up our home instead. He said flowers are for giving to women when ya wanna make up after an argument, not for decorating a whole house that a man resides in as well. He barked that if he wants to be surrounded by flowers he'll walk over to the neighbor's garden.
The only way to solve our problem was to seperate each area of the house with Duct Tape allowing each of us to have our own way.
I spent the day happily decorating my half of every room with flowers and spring colored items. I also sprayed some gardenia room spray around. I felt good about my choices in decorating and bounced outta the house to go get a spring colored manicure.
Upon returning home, my husband had his half of each room adorned with his likings. Good Lord, I've never been so terrified to enter rooms in my entire life.
The first thing I noticed was a stuffed raccoon in the corner of the kitchen. This is the very creature he yells and screams at for getting into our garbage cans when they're hungry and now it's in our kitchen.
I backed out of our eatery and slowly entered the living room to find a taxidermied coyote poised next to our fireplace, as if that's not excruciatingly terrifying.
I excused myself to use the bathroom before completing the tour of our dead animal zoo, as I was afraid of what I would see around the next corner.
As I cautiously entered the room where our nightly slumber takes place, I noticed two red foxes staring back at me. I yelled at my husband, that the only fox he needs in his life is me and demanded he tell me why he felt the need to have two foxes in the bedroom.
By this time I was steaming mad. He said he's a man and men enjoy displaying the fruits of their kills after hunting.
While he was at a friend's house I took a bunch of his varmint traps from his shed and screwed them into his side of the bedroom wall. I then got rid of his nice antique dresser. Let him keep his clothes in metal cages then if he wants a manly looking house.
When he got back home I thought he would get mad but instead he just looked at me, paused and said, "Hunny, you're the greatest," as if I were coming around to his sense of decorating style.
Still upset days later, I took his truck to a dealership in the area while he was outta town and traded it in for a Volkswagen beetle. This particular one had the big ears and the long tail attached to it's body. Since my husband likes things that remind him of his kills then it would be fitting as he's killed several mice in our yard recently.
He's due back home in a few days. I hope he'll appreciate my efforts to see things his way.