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So I was sitting on the couch the other day and, of course, I can’t sit for any length of time without snacking because eating is awesome.
I looked at the back of my treat bag, and I don’t even know why because I don’t really care about the sugar, fat and carb content like others do. However, I did notice the serving size amount.
According to the company that filled the bag in which they left half of the “snack sack” filled with air because that’s how they do it these days, I had just eaten 16 servings of the tasty morsels.
Now, what kinda bird on a diet do they have sitting in an office somewhere telling us how much to eat? Just because they can’t eat more than two pieces without feeling bloated doesn’t mean others can’t devour more. So as a result of their serving limits, I have to feel guilty for eating 15 more servings in one sitting than they do?
On a bag of bite-size chocolate bars, they suggest two pieces. Who can do that? We’re only human, for cryin’ out loud. In fact, two pieces don’t even equal a regular-size candy bar.
Are those serving suggestions per day, hour or by the minute, as they don’t say? With the way I eat these snacks, I sure hope it’s by the minute. I’ll have to do more research in that area.
On a carton of eggnog, the serving size is only half of a cup. That made me mad, as I know I can drink a lot more than that, as my running to the bathroom constantly is proof of it.
So just to spite the eggnog company and prove them wrong, I drank three full glasses. I felt good standing up for myself, but something must have been wrong with the product because right after I drank it all, I barfed.
Many products suggest just a few pieces per serving, so that’s why I like popcorn – you’re allowed a lot of pieces. Can you imagine if Orville suggested two pieces while watching The Hatfields & McCoys? That movie could be titled The Redenbachers and the Entire Popcorn Eating Public.
Why don’t companies just use gumball machines that dole out a piece or two at a time to deliver their products, instead of teasing everyone with a bag or box that limits the serving? Perhaps I’ll call some of these companies and ask if they’d like me to pay for their products in small increments.
My husband loves his steaks. I shutter to think what would happen if the packaging suggested two bites of T-bone. This would be a nightmare for meat-eaters everywhere.
One of life’s simple pleasures is snacking, and the last thing I want is for someone else to “rain” on my parade with enjoyment-smashing limitations.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.