A few days ago, I wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t get out to the store, so I asked my husband to go for me. He said yes, so I gave him a list of four items.
The list was simple, it included Cheetos, Gatorade, a package of sanitary items and Midol for girl pain.
Upon his return, I hurriedly opened up the bag sure he’d gotten what I needed – well, the Cheetos I just wanted, but that’s beside the point.
He brought home Cheetos, Gatorade and something for headaches. I asked him where the personal items were, to which he stared at me like I had two heads and then stated they were out of them.
First of all, no big box store is going to have zero inventory of those types of products, as women everywhere would rise up in protest. That’s like a grocery store being completely out of beer, every single brand, every can.
After telling him to stop lying or he’d be taking the blow-up mattress out to his shed for the night to slumber with the scorpions, he told me the truth.
Apparently, lots of guys would rather change a baby’s poopy diaper while being barfed on by the same kid than to buy girl products for the “love of their life.”
Good Lord guys, women buy your Rogaine, hemorrhoid cream, underwear and medicated powder with no issues. Why is it so hard to purchase items for your woman?
If one is concerned about his image, trust me, no other man is going to see you and believe you’re the one who actually needs the item you’re sheepishly buying. However, if you really did need those things you’d be rich, as medical doctors and journals would want you for research.
Perhaps a solution to purchasing personal products for the one who cooks, cleans and does everything else for her man would be to don a Zorro mask while shopping. No one would ever dare question the “man’s man” on anything he purchases.
Superman wore a cape, and I’m quite sure Lois Lane at some point asked him to buy her a box of something or other. At the end of the day, he still wore a cape.
Maybe once or twice a month, men could gather as a group and go shopping for certain items; this way, it’s more of a support group. It’s just an idea, but it may help some with facing their fears.
Personal body wipes also fall under the “Oh my God, there’s no way I can ever go buy that kinda thing for you” category, and yet one may easily buy their woman a tiny pair of – I can’t even write it, but it sure isn’t something ya purchase at a grocery store. Oh, the hypocrisy of it all.
Of course, one could insist their wife or girlfriend accompany them to the store when purchasing certain items, but then she could ask you to hold her purse while she shops.
It’s a vicious circle, and one that may not end for many more generations.
My husband just asked me if I know where we keep the gauze, as he cut his neck on a sharp thorn bush. I let him know that we were out of gauze, but he could put a pad on it from the bathroom cabinet. He asked me if I’d go and fetch the item for him – unbelievable!
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.