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So I was at the grocery store several days ago and tried to buy a bag of Cheetos and some stuff for dinner later that evening.
When I got up to the register, the lady informed me that they were only taking cash. Well, that posed a real problem. I only had nine credit cards – all of which are the kind you can just tap on the card reader – and a debit card with me, none of which could be used.
I left and went to another store for the same items, only to find out that they were also only taking cash.
In a world where technology is supposed to make lives easier and more convenient, I was left holding a bag with nothing in it.
Since some ATMs weren’t operating, either, I was unable to get the cash that was rightfully mine. If I was to get my Cheetos, I needed cold, hard cash. I headed back home to get some.
Since I don’t fully trust anything, I stashed some dough in the backyard under a pine tree; we have a lot of them, but I knew which tree it was. The only thing buried deeper than my money was little Leonardo, a lizard we rescued last year (he didn’t make it).
Anyway, I grabbed the cash and went back to the store for my items.
The lady looked at me oddly as her gaze also went to my hands. I had forgotten to wash them after digging up the money. The perils of backyard banking, I guess.
I recall a few years ago, during the depth of COVID, places were making it difficult for folks to pay with cash however, it was all they wanted in order to release my Cheetos.
In my opinion, we’ll never be a cashless society, and the most recent experience is exactly why. There will always have to be an alternative to paying by way of technology.
Perhaps we should go back to bartering with folks for the things we need or want.
I once traded a cleaning job for a closet chandelier and a Carhart vest so bartering can be a win-win.
Trading for goods and services can also backfire. My Uncle Vinny set up a stand in a park once and offered passerbys a park bench massage for beer and cigarettes. That ended real quick when parks and recreation got wind of it. He also got a court date and three days in a cheap motel after my aunt kicked him out.
I would love to see the pharmacist make a trade with medicine for baby-sitting. It would be great if my mechanic traded a tune-up and tire rotation for sewing buttons on his shirts and cleaning up his work area for him.
I am more than willing to trade Uncle Vinny, our family’s jackass, to someone for a goat and a few chickens.
There’s the argument that cash can be unsanitary, but so is kissing and no one seems to mind that.
Perhaps I’ll set up a stand downtown and trade advice for Cheetos.
Anngee Quinones-Belian of Murphy is a staff correspondent for the Cherokee Scout. Her humor column runs every other week. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.