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With St. Patty’s Day behind us, we look forward to celebrating Easter.
The lighter side of this holiday consists of pretty baskets and brightly colored eggs. It also requires the screening of many “wanna-be” bunnies.
That’s right. Someone has to do the job of hiding the eggs, arranging baskets and a host of other tasks.
Each year those who feel they can do the job, flock to Easter Bunny auditions in an attempt to prove they’re qualified to don the long ears and cheerfully hop through neighborhoods making the annual holiday special for kids.
Bunny shoes are not easy to fill, so it takes special people to do the job right. In order to pass the audition and don the suit, rabbit hopefuls must be able to meet the following job requirements:
First, one must be able to locate and obtain only the finest plastic grass. One former rabbit received disciplinary action for attempting to pass off poorly shredded green construction paper as the real thing.
The ability to artistically arrange the goodies going into the basket is another plus. A background in bagging or floral arrangement is helpful.
Bunny hopefuls should not have a fear of dogs. One bunny’s fear led him to Mace a sleeping dog, then simply throw eggs into the yard rather than hide them. When the green and yellow eggs hit the homeowner, the bunny received a pink slip.
Rabbits should be creative enough to find hiding places for eggs, and smart enough not to hide them in spots such as vehicle tailpipes or buried in holes around the yard.
For cryin’ out loud, good bunnies must properly dispose of all leftover eggs once the holiday is over. One rabbit was fired after placing unused eggs deep in people’s flowerpots. After a week in the sun, neighborhoods begin to smell like swamplands, resulting in that bunny’s final paycheck.
Hired rabbits must be able to avoid the temptation to nibble on goodies along the way. Bite marks in the candy simply won’t be tolerated!
Finally, if you’re considering the seasonal position of Easter Bunny, it’s a must that you possess a cheerful disposition. Rabbit hopefuls who kicked dogs, yell at children and in general, display anti-social behavior won’t be hired. Now accepting applications ...
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.