By Cody Carrera, Guest Columnist
I don’t know about other people, but in today’s social media, technology-dependent world, there is nothing I crave more than actual human connection. But how much is too much?
It’s an odd position to be in when you are in some sort of social circle regularly – say, a Bible study group, a book club or even a work situation – and there’s a friend group that develops and you aren’t invited into that social circle. They become like one living, breathing organism having their own friend language that you don’t understand, or inside jokes that you don’t get.
As you see this start to develop, it can make you feel disparagingly about yourself. It makes you ask questions to yourself, like “What is wrong with me?” or “Why wasn’t I asked to join?” This is all witnessed from an outside perspective, but it can gaslight you into believing there is something wrong with you.
Social media is an illusion. Each of us cultivates an imagination we want the world to see and hide away all the things we consider faults, all the real ugliness that makes us human. However, it can become painstakingly obvious to someone outside said social circle that they weren’t “invited to the party.”
I have considered myself a loner and as an artist, I have a bohemian-like lifestyle that’s not considered a socially normal life. In school, I remember vividly a girl who bullied me relentlessly and happily handed out invitations to everyone in class to her birthday party. Everyone except me.
The irony is, years later when I was visiting my family in the same town I grew up in, as I was dropping off items to donate to a thrift store, I heard a voice from behind me say “Hi, Cody” from a distance.
I turned around, and there she was. The girl who didn’t invite me to her party. I turned right back around and continued what I was doing.
This has translated into my adulthood. I see groups of friends who I try to integrate and foster a connection with and go above and beyond to make them a part of my life, when the effort isn’t reciprocated. That’s when you know it’s time to leave the party you weren’t invited to.
I’ve learned slowly, but surely the process of self love, enjoying my own company and fostering connections all across the world where my life has taken me to be priority. I’ve also learned that if you listen and watch closely, you’ll understand and truly see who and what you should be giving your time to.
I may not be invited to the party, but I sure do enjoy dancing alone.
The writer is a former resident of Cherokee County.