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I thought shopping for a pair of flip-flops was bad enough until I witnessed a friend’s daughter shop for her wedding dress.
What in the good Lord’s creation would possess an otherwise mild-mannered girl to nose dive into total madness, over a one-day event?
I hear that a lot of bride-to-bes go crazy planning for their wedding day. All I want to know is, why?
One thing’s for sure; if I was going to act like that, it would be because either someone was assaulting me or breaking into my house. I certainly wouldn’t want my husband-to-be to see that side of me, at least not in the beginning of the relationship.
Fighting, whining and foul language is not very becoming of a future Mrs., plus it makes mascara run – and that’s the last thing he’ll wanna see when she’s in that kind of mood.
I have a feeling this is why elopements were created.
Usually weddings are planned six months to a year in advance, for cryin’ out loud. That’s enough time to plan the wedding, build a small house and shop for a puppy. What’s the problem?
Basically, you buy a dress, a suit, flowers and tell people where to be at a specific time. You’ll also need a day or two to make a few phone calls and rent some chairs.
Of course, you’ll want to pick up a cake from the grocery store. Arranging for these items and securing a few other details should take about four days to pull together, and shouldn’t have anyone needing to be Baker Acted.
My cousin almost swallowed her tongue in a fit of frustration after she found out her cake would have pink roses on it instead of red ones. For Pete’s sake, a rose by any other color is still a rose.
Is this why some men fail to show up at the altar? By the time he would arrive, he’s too exhausted to face the next 40 years.
I say every time a bride-to-be has a meltdown, a few tiny chips should be shaved off that big diamond ring. Big mouth, small ring.
Nothing is ever perfect, no matter how hard ya plan, and sometimes things just happen.
I know someone who had a complete meltdown after tearing her wedding dress before the ceremony. Ten minutes into their running around, spewing words that would embarrass Satan and not knowing what to do, I offered up a roll of white duct tape. Problem solved! Everything can be fixed.
The last thing I’d want showing up in my wedding photos as a bride are red and swollen eyes from crying, black streaks running down my face and every guest pouting in the background.
I’m considering a career as a wedding planner, should be a “piece of cake” job.
If you’re planning a wedding, I hope your special day is one to remember and not one to hide from.
Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.