.
“It takes a person eight attempts at leaving an abusive relationship, before they leave for good,” according to Daphne Blount, victim advocate for Reach of Cherokee County Inc.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and Blount wants to clear up a few misconceptions. “It’s complicated. Many abuse victims stay because they don’t want to break up the family. They just say, ‘I’ll just deal with it.’ ”
Blount said the emotional piece is often overlooked as well.
“We live in a small town, and many victims don’t want to embarrass their families,” she said.
That kind of thinking is upside down, she added. The abuser is the one meant to carry the shame. But sexual assault is rarely that straightforward.
The U.S. Department of Justice defines sexual assault as any non-consensual sexual act including when the victim lacks capacity to consent. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network provides finer lines to the DOJ’s definition by adding sexual assaults to include harassment, stalking and social media attacks related to sex.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 14-25 percent of women will be sexually assaulted by a domestic partner. Compounding that statistic is one even more harrowing. Nearly 1 in 2 women will experience sexual violence victimization in her lifetime.
This means nearly half of the women in Cherokee county have endured some type of sexual assault. Reach strives to serve this population but like most issues surrounding sexual violence, it’s complex.
Take the procedures to simply report a sexual assault, for example. Despite their 24-hour hotline, 24-hour safe house and the victim advocate who is assigned to each client who chooses to report – which is estimated at one in three – the path from reporting to healing is long. It requires tenacity and focus to complete. Another prohibitive issue is that this very intimate crime becomes public property.
“We have a sexual assault response team, local law enforcement, legal aid, department of social services, hospital personnel,” all prepared to stand by and help the victim, Blount said.
However, this means a person must tell their story to different departments full of strangers. This doesn’t cover the exposure if the case goes to trial. This public exposure is another reason that these types of crimes so often goes unreported.
Blount herself witnessed family members suffer from domestic sexual violence and felt powerless to stop it or help the people she loved.
“For me,” she said, “I witnessed it with friends and family members and that was hard to deal with.”
Blount said it’s why she chose this career.
“What keeps you going is just the hope that someday people will be kind to each other and we can give help and support to those who need it,” she said.
That’s where Reach steps in. They work assiduously to view each client as a unique case. There is no template pressed upon the relationship between their advocates and their clients. Blount said each person’s circumstances are unique.
“Sometimes the abuser flees to avoid an arrest and could then re-enter the house to re-assault before the police can get there,” she said.
These assaults occur within family units, which create a distinctive set of circumstances each time.
“The main message we want to express is that we are here,” Blount said. “We will sit through the entire process with you. Our priority is to make you feel safe and to know that you have support here.”
Reach provides a full around the clock service to anyone requiring assistance from sexual assault.
“I carry a little kit in my car with tissues, bras, underwear, clothing, just anything a client might need,” Blount said.
Advocates will help clients digest the legal issues involved in a domestic protective order and in reporting the crime to the police
“If they need a safe home, we have a shelter. If they don’t feel safe there, we can relocate them to another county,” Blount said, adding, “We’re lucky in Cherokee County. I’ve worked in other counties where the authorities aren’t as sympathetic to the victims. Maybe they are overworked and see a domestic violence call and think, ‘They’re just going to go back.’ ”
Reach has developed a reliable team of police officers, district attorneys, counselors and judges. It may be a long journey, but it’s one the staff is experienced in traveling.
“We just want people to know that we have services,” Blount said, “and they do not need to suffer alone or in silence.”
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault, contact Reach in Murphy at 837-8064.