Minimizing risk with a leash – or two

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With the current struggle the commissioners are having in trying to decide whether to enact a leash law in the county, I thought I’d share my experiences with the tether to my mother’s hand.

When I was just a small kid, I was active, curious and on occasion would bite someone. From time to time she wouldn’t know where I was as I would wander off, usually ending up in a neighbor’s yard or swimming pool.

My mom tried to keep me in line but let’s face it, you just can’t control another creature no matter how well behaved they appear to be. You can punish them after the fact but you can not control them unless you put a leash on them.

My mom was a responsible and thoughtful soul who never wanted anyone hurt by any of her children.

She took the advice of a friend and put a leash on me back then since to muzzle me was a little harsh and probably illegal to use on humans in most situations, although my brother sure could have used one at the time as he was always flapping his lips about something or other.

I got to thinking about the trouble I could get into back then, especially since I was a biter. The truth is that anything with teeth can bite and some bites can be devastating to the one on the receiving end of the pearly whites.

Because my mom could not afford to pay out money in a lawsuit should I  sink my teeth into someone, I quickly heard the snap of a harness being applied to my fidgety torso.

At first it was uncomfortable as I barely liked having clothes on but I got used to it quickly since mom would offer me a treat or toy in the beginning.

The first time she put it on me I got down on all fours and starting walking by her side but she told me to get up and quit embarrassing her.

She bought me a pretty leash with pink rhinestones on it so in time I felt honored to show it off to my passing friends. One week they were all laughing at me but the next week they were also on leashes. Fewer of us got lost or had accusations lodged against us in the neighborhood. Everyone was happy and child complaint calls to the sheriff’s office went down significantly.

My knucklehead Uncle Vinny put a leash on his cat. The feline ran up a curtain before he could open the door and walk out with his freaked out and furious fluff ball. It looked as though he was flying a kite inside of his living room. Who leashes a cat, for cryin’ out loud?

My leash was only on when mom left our property with me, otherwise I was free to roam in my own yard. I actually ended up with a more secure feeling when we were out and about, knowing that if someone tried to steal me they’d have to take my mother as well. It’s true that there’s safety in numbers.

As for Uncle Vinny, when that hot mess comes to our house to visit, he gets the jab of a tranquilizer dart. He’s just outta control.

Anngee Quinones-Belian lives in Murphy. She loves humor and believes the world needs more of it. Email her at anngeeq@gmail.com.