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Murphy High School assistant football coach Thomas Nelson fires up his players on the sidelines during a game in the 2019 season. However, his life shows Nelson’s not really the “bad guy.”
Murphy – Thomas Nelson stays busy. On Friday night, he’ll be on the sidelines yelling at football players in their first game of the season. On Monday afternoon, he’ll have his first practice of the season with the softball team.
“It’s a rollercoaster right now,” Nelson said.
He said he’s fortunate to have really good assistant coaches to help out with the softball team when he’s working with the football team. Head coach David Gentry and the other football coaches have been helping out when he’s working with the softball team.
While it’s been a challenge fitting the two COVID-adjusted schedules together, it isn’t much of a challenge adjusting to coaching the different sports.
“It’s not as big of a difference as people would think,” Nelson said. “Girls who play softball are really tough.”
He said he is typically the “bad guy” on football field, but tries not to yell as much on the softball field. The biggest difference he sees in the players is how they work to get better – he said the girls will really work on themselves hard.
Finding his way
Growing up, Nelson wasn’t allowed to play football until he entered high school. His mother, Sandra Kaye, said he had to get straight-A grades in order to play multiple sports.
Until then, he played basketball.
“That was actually my favorite sport,” Nelson said. “I was pretty good at basketball.”
He said Gentry would see him dribbling his basketball and ask if wanted to play football. Nelson would tell him, no, he was going to play basketball.
However, he grew up watching greats on Murphy’s teams, like Carl Pickens and D.J. Cox.
“You see some really outstanding football players,” Nelson said. “You want to be as great as they are.”
Nelson ended up playing for Murphy’s 1991 state championship team.
He was offered a scholarship to Mars Hill and was recruited by Appalachian State, but ended up going to Emory & Henry College, a small liberal arts school. He was a four-year starter as a defensive back for the football team.
He didn’t know what he wanted to do, just that he wanted a degree. Nelson took a public speaking class in which his professor taught the class to look back in their lives, and find out who they really are – both the positive and negative experiences. He realized a lot of his positive experiences were with teachers.
“I’ve been blessed,” Nelson said. “I had really good teachers.”
He said Brenda Blount, Sheila Snow and Debra England were teachers who led by example. He said Bill Gaither, Wayne Watson and Gentry were also role models for him.
“You want to be the role model for your students,” he said.
Nelson first wanted to be a math teacher; he had an academic scholarship and loved math. However, he and a math professor didn’t understand each other, ending his interest in the subject. He went on to focus his studies on social studies and history as well as physical education.
He said Emory & Henry was great for him.
“It was everything you could want for your son or daughter,” he said. “It will always be home away from home for me.”
Becoming a coach
He went from playing football at Emory & Henry to coaching there. In addition to being the defensive backs coach and co-defensive coordinator, he wore many other hats at the college – he was the fitness center coordinator, student life office resident director, intramural coordinator, Outdoor Club sponsor and African-American Society sponsor.
He got into coaching softball first at Emory & Henry. The school wanted to start a softball program, and during a football coaches meeting they were asked if anyone was interested in being an assistant coach.
Everyone looked around the room, and Nelson ended up doing it. They started recruiting players, then had their first season.
“We were terrible at first,” Nelson said.
However, after more rounds of recruiting and figuring things out, they got better. In 2003, they were the Old Dominion Athletic Conference Champions, then went to the NCAA Division III Tournament.
Several years later, after Nelson came back to Murphy to raise his family as well as teach and coach football, he was pulled back into coaching softball again. Gentry’s daughter was on the softball team at Murphy High, and Gentry wanted Nelson to coach her. So Nelson became an assistant coach for the team, then became head coach in 2017.
“It’s just one of those things,” he said.
Serving the schools
Nelson has become more and more involved in both his college’s community and his home community over the years.
At Emory & Henry, he’s on the executive committee, hall of fame committee and alumni board.
In August, he was appointed to the Tri-County Community College Board of Trustees. He was told he would be really good for the board and was given paperwork to fill out before being appointed by Gov. Roy Cooper.
“It’s just one of those things you’re just blessed to be around good people and be appointed to a position of power,” Nelson said.
He said he’s enjoyed his time on the board so far, and has been impressed by what he’s learned about the college as a result. Nelson said he’s been able to participate on so many boards because his wife, Rebecca, is supportive of his schedule, and there have been a lot of meetings via videoconferencing because of COVID-19.
Leading through actions
He said there aren’t a lot of people who look like him in the school, and he has to be a role model for everybody. He tries to show his students to treat everyone with kindness, and not judge people by how they look. He also tries to teach students that their actions are stronger than what anyone says about them.
“Your actions are the best reference you have,” Nelson said.
For the black students, he hopes to show what they can be. He grew up in Texana, where everyone was proud of each other’s accomplishments.
“It was a very strong, nurturing, caring community,” Nelson said.
He said it’s important for kids to see his success, and see opportunities are out there for them.
He thinks one of the most important things he’s learned from his teachers and uses today as a teacher is that every kid has his own situation, and teachers need to show they care.
“You want that kid to know you care about them,” Nelson said.
He said anything that’s good about him his mother passed on to him. He had the type of relationship with his mother that he could talk to her about anything, and they talked often. She passed away on Dec. 9, 1998, at 11 a.m.
“That was my best friend,” Nelson said. “She would be extremely proud, but she would also say I have a lot of work to get to. … You can always be better.”
He said he was blessed to have that type of relationship with his mother, and hopes everybody has relationships like his. He also recognizes the sacrifices she made for him and for her family.
He hopes he passed down what his mother taught him to his own children – Micah, Grace and Tyra.
“I hope that they have the utmost respect for me and my wife,” Nelson said, adding he hopes they treat others with respect and follow Jesus.